My Bat Mitzvah is tomorrow! So is my 13th birthday, and I've only gotten one birthday card. It's only slightly offensive.
I'm not nervous yet, which is kind of disturbing. I mean, my Bat Mitzvah is tomorrow and I have been sleeping well and everything! Not a single butterfly in my stomach! That's what I find unsettling.
But still, my birthday is tomorrow! I'm 4748/4749 of a teenager. (Stop looking so impressed. I used a date calculator to find that number.
So, wish me happy birthday, good luck, and mazel tov! Buh-bye, now!